Wyoming is a Place Where People go to Die

Seriously. The only reason I can think of why anyone ever settled this land in southeastern Wyoming is that they were too fucking lazy to make it to the West Coast. What a hell hole! And I am not just talking about the people. Five months out of the year it is over 90 degrees fahrenheit and the remaining seven months average out at about 20 below. It like, NEVER rains. Except for when it does. And then all the crops are totally washed out and people lose their homes, etc. Tornadoes are a normal summer event, in the winter it is not unusual to be snowed in your driveway and the "rain" is usually accompanied by devastating hail storms that cost the community hundreds of thousands of dollars to repair.

Why stay in this place? I am beginning to suspect that the people who originally settled here were morons. This makes perfect sense considering that everyone who lives in this part of the state are morons too. Even people who move here from another place are morons because, come on, why else would they move here? "Oh I know honey, let's move to a place where the climate is comfortable for .2 seconds a year!"

I have never been particularly happy to live in Wyoming, but I do get offended when people mix it up with Wisconsin. Wisconsin has considerably better weather although they are having floods now so let's just move on.

Aside from the climate, this place is just a shit hole. It is no wonder it is so close to West Virginia alphabetically because seriously if you add up the number of teeth between all of the residents in Wyoming you can count it on one hand. Crystal meth is our biggest export and learning a foreign language in this area consists of a few Mexican cuss words. '

Teen pregnancy in this part of the country is at a record high. Why? Well aside from the moron thing it has to do with total boredom. This ultimately stems from moronic choices from our moron government and city councils to do away with anything that might seem remotely fun to people under 80. No wonder everyone here is an alcoholic. Yay booze!

When I tell people from other places that I am from Wyoming they are always like "Oh it is so beautiful there!" and they're right. Northwestern Wyoming is gorgeous. Yellowstone Park is grand and the Tetons are too, but let's not forget the wildfire that got out of control in Yellowstone about 20 years ago. Yeah, there's no rain up there either. It is just another place that is pretty to look at but not a place you'd want to live.

Anyone who is happy living here is over 80, mentally retarded, addicted to crystal meth or a combination of those things. I have no idea why I am even writing this instead of moving right now. And screw you blogspot for not recognizing the correct spelling of 'fahrenheit.' Or 'blogspot.'

*middle finger