My best friend and I became inseparable from the moment we met on that cold winter's night back in 1992. We "clicked" right away and decided that we were going to trust each other from that point on. She was having some issues at home, so she came to stay with my mom and I, temporarily, which turned into an off-an-on living situation that spanned over the next several years. We were very close and shared everything. Once we were out of high school, we moved in to an apartment together. We were best friends through so many bad relationships, hard times and traumas. Things were definitely rocky between us at times, but by this point we had become more like sisters than best friends.
Circumstances took us each to different parts of the country, but we always kept in touch and tried to see each other when we could. She started a family and had 2 lovely daughters, while I traveled and continued to search for whatever it is I was (and still am) looking for. Social networking sites were a fabulous and convenient way for us to chat and keep up with what the other was doing on a day-to-day basis.
My best friend and I have always had our own opinions about everything and, up until recently, we were always respectful to each other about them. That is, until 3 days ago, when she posted this shocking status update on one of the social networking sites...
"I've always been a firm believer in "to each his own". However, lately I don't agree. Not only does this go against the bible-not so concerned with- but scientifically it's not "normal". If it were normal to be gay, babies would arise out of buttsex and bumpim vag's. that shit doesn't happen. So to all my fags out there. Get straight, you're not the "special one"."
A few brief Emails were exchanged in which she pointed the finger back at me, saying I was not perfect and I was not the only one allowed to be controversial. I felt like telling her that there was a big difference between being controversial and being just plain stupid and hateful. But what I really told her was that she was behaving like a bigot and I didn't need to witness any more behavior of that sort. She wound up confessing that she felt we had been growing apart for quite some time and that she was "sorry" for offending me, then she subsequently BLOCKED me so that I could not respond. On top of all this, she deleted my mother from her friends list as well. Odd, considering my mom hadn't been involved or said anything about this matter.
So, that's how it is. Twenty years of friendship down the toilet because of one (incredibly) stupid comment. She and I have both said lots of stupid stuff over the years, but nothing this outrageously offensive. I feel like I don't know who my best friend has become. I don't know if I want to keep someone in my life who believes such terrible lies. And, as it turns out, I don't think I have to make that decision, because she's made it for us.
Thanks for listening and have a great day! xo
She probably doesn't even have any of the same molecules in her body that she did in 1992!
ReplyDeleteAlso, she's pretty so it's okay for her to hate gays!
Yep! As long as you're pretty, you can be the most horrible person ever and it's OK!
ReplyDeleteWow. I have my own opinions about her, for my own reasons, if this is about who I think it is. I'll keep them to myself, except to say that she is the last person who should be mentioning the Bible, especially in such a silly context, even if it's something she's "not so concerned with". But I don't wish her any ill.
ReplyDeleteMore to the point, I wouldn't want to be friends with anybody who would write something so pointedly spiteful and proudly ignorant. The occasional queer joke or ribbing aside (I'm not exactly PC), this is something entirely different.
My folks are Mormon and I've had my disagreements on the church's positions towards gays. I'm frankly disgusted that they go along with it, but then again none of them would ever write that sort of shit.
Then again, the LDS church's opposition to Prop 8 in Cali and a number of anti-gay speakers in church are the things that made my little sister finally break away from the church this year. So that sort of thing at least starkly reveals how hateful/controlling religion is, and some small good came from it.
I had my own experiences with homophobia when I was pretty young, and I wasn't even gay... just a skinny, dorky middle schooler who got picked on, beat up and being "fag tagged". I have never forgotten it to this day, and there are few things that piss me off more than homophobia.
Sorry to hear your friendship ended, but it sounds like it ran its course anyway.
Right on, Matt.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the person being referenced personally so I can't (and wouldn't), comment on her. What I can comment on is her position that basically boils down to homosexuality not being normal, some sort of sadly cliched nonsense about the Bible and finally, the fairly obvious observation that anal sex doesn't produce babies.
ReplyDeleteShocker.
My response to it is pretty simple:
"So what?"
First of all, whether or not it's normal is immaterial. Just because something is different in no way makes it immoral. It certainly doesn't make it hazardous. And it absolutely doesn't make it the business of anyone outside of the relationship.
Second of all: As to the Bible...Oh my, the Bible...The Bible says so many, many things. And it's so very, very easy to pick and choose what's consistent with ones own worldview and herald it as the very word of God. So I'll ask everyone relying on biblical texts as guidance on homosexuality to explain why condemnation of gays is appropriate but slavery isn't?
Finally...No. Anal sex does not produce children. Neither does holding hands, kissing or dare I say it? blowjobs. And yet Western civilization has yet to fall under the constant onslaught of so many non-procreative acts.
Ultimately, I'm stuck on this:
"I've always been a firm believer in "to each his own". However, lately I don't agree."
I hate throwing around words like 'immoral'. But it is flat out wrong to assume that you deserve to be an arbiter over someone elses personal life. It makes the libertarian in me leap up snarling.